Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Lost Art Of The Slow Jam

About 2 weeks ago, I went to the club with my wife and some friends of ours. I was already inebriated and enjoying watching Rush Hour take place. As I pointed out the many characters I've described in my earlier post, the unthinkable occurred. Keith Sweat's "Nobody" began to blare out of the speakers. And for the first time in close to a decade I actually saw people slow dancing and grinding on the (now nearly empty) dance floor. After I picked my jaw and drink up from the floor I said to my wife "I can't believe what I'm seeing!" Here we are in 2009 during "Rush Hour" of all times and the DJ was playing a slow jam. The world as I knew it was turned upside down (or maybe the Henny shots made it look that way).

Over the last decade the frequency of slow jams being played in the club has dropped off a cliff. The 90's was the last great decade that R&B (as well as Hip-Hop) was a dominant factor in music. Boyz II Men, SWV, Joe, Jade, among many others ruled not only R&B but the pop charts as well. The formula was usually the same, the first single would be a collabo with a hot rap artist or just a hip-hop beat over their singing, but the second single would be the slow jam. I was in high school during this period and thanks to this music, I was able to rid myself of the stresses of virginity and my awkward teenage shyness when dealing with the ladies. Many a homecoming, Sadie Hawkins, sweetheart, and formal dances went from evacuating to the bleachers to a mad scramble for the hand of the most gorgeous girl to grind on when a slow jam came on.

Since that night a few weeks ago I've been trying to find the disconnect. Maybe its STD's and other communicable diseases that has us afraid to get close? No because then all clubs would be shut down. Maybe the rise of teenage pregnancies which I know was on the rise during my generation? It can't be that either because some of yall still getting knocked up. Maybe its the litigious state of our country that has caused a cutback in people wanting to get close? Hell Nah! The way some of yall dance to "Booty Doo" makes me swear that yall exchanging fluids! Maybe its because the ratio of guys to girls in the club forces the DJ to play more music suited to guys?

Let me make my argument a little more clear for yall! Ladies here are 5 reasons why you should want more slow jams played in the club:

1. Your feet can relax from being in those stilettos.
2. You can use that moment to fix your makeup.
3. You can hear yourself think.
4. You can sing along as loud as you want to Keyshia Cole's "Love" and no one will know that you cant sing nor will they care.
5. Most Important: You can get close to that guy you've been digging all night and lock him down for yourself!!
Fellas, I know this is a tough one but peep the advantages:
1. Gives you time to scope the room and decipher who's taken and who's not.\
2. Even if you don't have game, let the song do the talking for you! (depending on the song)
3. Aren't you tired of bumping into dudes all night and all the mean mugging?
4. You too can hear what she's saying which gives a chance to think & respond.
5. Most Important: You can actually touch a woman without charges being filed (Hopefully)!
So DJ's whether you are playing to thousands in Vegas or just a house party on the block, I urge you and I'm quite sure the ladies will agree with me, to cutback on the elbow throwing, making the trap say AYE, making it rain, joints and for a little while give us a chance to breathe.
Get close to someone and regain the lost art of the slow jam!

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