Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Really It's Not You....It's Me...

Dear Rap:

I don't think we can be cool anymore. I don't know what it is. Well actually I do, it's not you, it's me. Since Febuary I've been struggling to figure out a way to make this work and continue our relationship but honestly I can't find one. I left you hints that I thought you would notice: I haven't written here in months, the canceled Sirius subscription, the fact that I would rather listen to sports talk, or the fact that I haven't brought an album in months even though some of my favorite MC's released new material. I realize that I'm getting too old and you are passing me by.

I warned you about going the corporate route & I'm not mad that you're getting your money but you forgot where you came from. You showed signs of promise, but what's become commonplace over the last few years is that movements start and then the movement stalls. "Exhibit C" (remember that?)was supposed to be the "game changer" & yet 6 months later nothing's changed. I've been going to shows & the same shit continues. 20 dudes with 20 mics yelling indecipherable lyrics over their vocal tracks instead of the instrumental. No life stories or experiences, just metaphors. No imagination, just follow the trend.

I'm disappointed in you, but more disappointed in us because we allowed it to happen. Instead of caring we showed indifference & apathy. Instead of standing up & saying "We demand better" we yelled "Oh, let's do it". Instead of unity, there's division. On the one side there's "fun" on the other "business" on the other "Real hip hop" and on the other "emotional rap".

We have mutual friends that I will continue to work with & support but as I grow older I realize that we're done because I am guilty of that same indiffernce. I came to that epiphany while coming back from a show with CientifiQ a few weeks ago. We discussed why you took the direction you did but I couldn't speak on my disappointment because good dudes like him still love & care about you. Before I am accused of being a grumpy old crumedgeon who doesn't understand & complain about you all day (which I've been called already) I would rather just walk away and let you live your life the way you see fit. You have always been more then just "music" to me & I don't want to spend the rest of my days talking about the past. I have to keep looking forward and you really aren't giving me much to look forward to.

You will always be in my heart and I will always check in with you from time to time to see how you are doing and make sure you're okay. I've changed the name of this page because even though you helped save my life, I've grown & matured more.

I wish I could say the same for you.

Yours Truly,
Gargamel Jermel

P.S. Welcome to "The Realest Shit I Ever Wrote"